I wrote this 12/11, I thought I would re-post it
Just a few years ago the North Pole was invaded by Zombies and
Christmas was almost canceled. But don't zombies freeze in
zero temperatures? Yes they do, unless a elf makes a mistake in
Santa's communication center. That is exactly
what happen when the head elf was working on the time and reality
capactior for Santa to manipulate time for his midnight run.
Head
Elf Macky is a big TV movie buff. Anything unreal make believe,
fantasy and sci-fi is what he likes. A week before Santa's big run he was in the communication
center upgrading systems control and was watching TV at the same time. He was watching his favorite zombie movie when the reality
manipulator had a power surge and captured data from the 100 inch Flat screen TV with a Wi-Fi connection. The device was confused with the
data and it replicated what it saw on TV and created Zombies all over the North
Pole surrounding Santa's Village. Because the Zombies where created by
the North Pole computer and the super 3-D transporter reality printer that had not yet been debugged, they knew how to get access
to the village. It was just the way it worked. The North Pole Security
System would not recognize the Zombies as a threat, and allow them access before Elf
Central Command (ECC) would know there was any security risk.
These
Zombies where just as dangerous as the Zombies we know today. Before the
ECC was alerted hundreds of Elf's where bitten and became zombies. with
only 24 hours to go, Santa and the main village staff was working hard to get things ready when the emergency alert alarm sounded.
This alarm had never been used since it was created. Many of them
including Santa had to look up the code to see what was going on. the
Code was Elf Con Five. This was the maximum alert. Meaning for the first
time in History, Santa's Village was on a security threat lock down. No
one was allowed to leave or come in the village. All operations came to a
stand still.
Santa and top security elf's went to the lock down
control room. Dust and cob webs where everywhere because this maximum
security room had never been used. Santa stormed in the room and heard a
briefing that even had him in disbelief. "How" he asked . He was
informed of the Zombies and information was still coming in from other elf stations. He was made aware of what happened in the communcations center with head elf
Macky. Santa had the the Elf Security Chief remove Macky from his post
until a hearing could be held. Santa asked the question "What are our
options?"
Elf Security Chief (ESC) said "what ever we do we must
act ASAP". Again Santa ask "And what must we do ASAP"? "We have to mobilize the Elf Military and declare war on the
Zombies until all are dead and we must use extreme prejudice when
dealing with the zombies". "And what do you mean by that?" Santa ask.
"We kill what we shoot" replied the ESC. "We have never used force on
any life form in the North Pole" Santa said. "Oh my God! then we have
already lost the war before starting it" screamed the ESC. "Don't you
get it? This is not life we are dealing with here Santa this is like a
virus" said the ESC. "But is not a virus life like?" ask Santa. So the
ESC scratched his head and replied with this. "OK, I will give you that
one. So let me suggest this then! The next time you get the flu we will
let you die because you don't want to kill a virus!" it was quiet and
they where losing precious time.
Santa asked ECC how much time
they had left to make the run and the answer was 12 hours. He looked at
the ESC and asked if it was possible. He said that they would have to
start now and would need permission to use lethal Atomic Magic dust AMD.
Santa said he had no ideal what that was. The ESC told him that many
years ago that the high counsel decided that it would be best if Santa
did not know about the dust in case of such emergencies, but as a safety
concern it could not be used unless Santa give executive authorization
orders to the ESC. Santa said "we will discuss the whys and how later
before more elfs die ,what does it do? The ESC answered by saying it
kills what ever it hits, and would be used to make the ammo that is used against the Zombies."OK" said Santa, "no more talk, this operation is
hear by ordered and shall be operated under the the ECC
but until further notice all ECC operations personal will report to the
ESC until I order other wise"
While this was a wise decision Santa was
clearly not comfortable being Commander in Chief ,
Santa's Headquarters never needed this type of operation in the entire
history of his Village.
All over the North Pole you heard alarms
and sirens and the village was in complete lock down. Santa also
ordered Santa News Network to release the following statement.
Breaking News Report: SNN, we interrupt this telecast to bring you of the following emegency announcement:
In
a joint operation by Elf Central Command under the orders of the Elf
Security Chief we will enforce a emergency curfew for all of Santa's
Village and workshops. All Elf families to stay in your living quarters
until further notice. The north Pole and the Village is under attack and
if you do not follow instructions being e-mailed to you on Elf Net You
may die at the hands of the enemy and Christmas may be canceled.
The
elf army took there positions and waited for the Zombies. Elf Air Force
began the attack first, but with little or no results because the AMD
weapons was not penetrating enough zombies. this operation was going to
take hours. The war went well into midnight before the elf infantry
began mobilizations. They had the best results, direct hits in the head
was killing Zombies, and the Air force AMD weapons had a delayed
reaction but it did finally start to kill Zombies, the dust made it to
the Zombies brain. The zombies died off and the North Pole returned to
normal. Military action had been called off for the most part. But the
damage was done, the Christmas Eve Event was suppose to start two hours before.
Santa returned to ECC and said "what do we do?" the ESC spoke
up and said we have a option, and I mean just on option" . "and?" Santa asked. The ESC said "we can alter time" , "What?" Santa asked "alter time
Santa, just like I said". "Explain" said Santa.
The ESC said this
" We can use the same time formula that you use for the big run
because time is not a factor here at the pole as it is in other parts of
the world". "That is Right" said Santa. "No one would remember except
for those of us in this room So lets do it!" Said Santa. "We can't"
Said the ESC. "Then why did you tell me this?" ask Santa "Well we can
but the person that needs to execute the operation is under house
arrest" Explained the ESC. "Macky?" ask Santa. "Yes Macky , But you
would have to pardon him for it to be allowed" Explained the ESC. It was
quiet in the room and Santa grated a full pardon to the former head
Elf. The Elf would still have to report to a board of inquiry so that protocols could be put in place so that this type of disaster could
never happen again. Macky was OK with that, because he knew he
was insubordinate in his actions.
And so they put there plan in action, Loaded Santa's sleigh and no one knew that last Christmas was almost the last Christmas.
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